The Unconventional Guide to Ice Queens
by Monokia
Summary: Elsa, the crowned queen of Arendelle, ran away that night to protect her sister from herself; but when a dangerous stalker invites himself into her enchanted castle-of-ice to introduce himself, whose going to protect her?
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: My latest obsession is Frozen. I've kind of paused my other two works from lack of motivation, sorry, but it comes and goes for me. I hope you peps out there enjoy this!_

* * *

"I think you missed one!" a cheerful voice called out from behind Elsa. She had been collapsed against the ground weeping loudly but jumped and spun about in response to the unnoticed presence behind her. Her hand darted out in front of her and the familiar magic pooled into her fingertips, ready to be released at her command; however, none was given for she was blinded by her tears. She brushed them away with a sleeve and glared outwards.

A man hovered over one of the guards that had attacked her earlier, Elsa had knocked the guard out, but already he had begun to wake up. The waking man turned to look behind him just in time to have the handle of a crossbow butted against his head. He passed out and Elsa now turned her icy glare upwards and crouched down ready to bolt at a moments notice.

The man shrugged and dropped his weapon onto the ground and gave a big goofy grin, " I would just like to say, I'm such a big fan of yours." He smiled brighter, if you could imagine that, when Elsa's eyes pulled together confused. "Where are my manors," he snapped his fingers and stepped over the maze of bodies on the ground, " the names Edward. I'm an assassin currently tasked with stopping this eternal winter you've placed over Arendelle- but I can do that later, for now I just want to talk."

She was stunned to say the least. She noticed his approach and before he could get too close, Elsa had straightened out of her painful crouch to flick a hand in front of her. When he heard the ground rumbling around him, the man began to think this might not have been one of his brightest ideas. Coils of snow and ice shot up and wrapped themselves around him.

"If you desire to talk, then you'll have to bare with these, I'm afraid. I find myself easily distracted when engaged in conversation. I would rather not end up with a knife in my back, that would be most unfortunate." Her eyes swept over the man now that he was immobilized. He had blond hair like hers but only darker. His outfit matched his profession, dark. A very warm looking overcoat wrapped around his body, which not only protected him from the cold, but gave him plenty of space to conceal weapons. Noticing that he was staring at her too, Elsa avoided his gaze and set off to do damage control. Taking several breaths to calm herself; she called out her magic to fix for the umpteenth time her wrecked castle and to deposit the unconscious men safely down the sheer cliff.

Elsa sighed afterwards and her stomach growled. She thanked the gods that usually when she was attacked, more often than not, they left preservable goods and delicacies behind. It took her only a second to notice the row of satchels lined up against the entrance to her castle. They would not have the resources or the energy to launch a second attack on her; and since there was more than one guard sent this time, she had food to last herself for a long while. Usually hiking up the face of a mountain was, for the most part, best done on a full stomach. She was reassured that they would be forced to retreat and retry again in a month from now.

"Understandable. Although I do find these restraints distasteful. How about if I get rid of all my weapons, would you let me of the hook? I promise I won't hurt you." Edward watched as she bent down and picked up an apple from far away. She looked at him with wariness but took a bight from the fruit and swallowed.

"No, I wouldn't put it past you to double-cross me."

"I disagree, I find myself quite the honorable backstabber." He squirmed against the cold ice but settled down when he heard a soft and delicate laugh. Elsa quickly covered it with a hand and shuddered as she restrained herself back into character again.

"Why are you on my mountain?"

"Didn't I just tell you a few moments ago?" he asked and did his best to work around the restraints so he could shrug in response to her question.

"Did you not think I wouldn't kill you?" She folded her arms in front of her and the ice crackled theatrically around her.

"Well, I considered the possibility. That is why I've been watching you for almost a month, and never have I seen you kill anyone. You always let them go in the end; I expect that you are not the notorious winter queen everyone makes you out to be."

She was stooped at this, changing subjects she asked him another question, "What did you want to talk to me about?"

"Actually, the weather is the first thing that comes to mind..."

* * *

"Women, how can you stand living in here alone. I've seen you do nothing but housekeeping along with entertaining murderous guests ever since I got here."

"On the contrary, I find the conditions quite agreeable."

"You're strange."

"Not as strange as an assassin that decides alerting his intended target about his sinister intentions is a smart move."

He scoffed and pretended to be offended "Nothing wrong with a little gallantry. Never mind that now; what are you going to do with me?"

"I'm still trying to decide. I would have released you until I was enlightened that you spied on me for a month and I never even noticed. At the moment I'll keep you here because I don't want to give you another chance to try and kill me. I just need time to think on how I should deal with you."

"Okay…" he started whistling.

Elsa was getting frustrated really fast at the man and was just about to tell him to be silent when she recognized the tune. "Edward-was it? How long has it been since my coronation?"

A pause, "A little less than a month."

"And when did you start to stalk me?"

"About a month ago."

"I want exact dates!"

"Well, I suppose both would be around twenty-nine days ago your majesty!"

"I sung that tune only once, and that was the very day I ran away from Arendelle. You followed me here that same night I left."

"I found the notes along with the lyrics to be quite catchy." He gave a flirtatious smile and resumed, but only this time, humming the melody to her song.

'_Let it go.'_

Elsa walked away a little embarrassed and more than a little disturbed.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: I've gotten around to posting another chapter. With one wonderful review, I'm convinced I should continue this. I probably won't be making super-quick updates to it but at least I'm not dropping this story.**_

_**Yet...**_

_**Enjoy!**_

* * *

"Hey baby, how's it going?"

That was all it took to send Elsa shooting straight up in the air; well, that and a wet tongue in her ear.

_"Herrugud!"_

"Pardon your French," the man smiled and wagged his brows. They were both speaking Norwegian- but, you know, whatever-

In moments he was back to being trapped in ice. Elsa was pumping with adrenaline and if he thought it apt to pull another stunt like that again, so help her, she would punch him. "How did you escape?"

"Ah, you see, there in a constructional flaw in your work. Don't beat yourself up over it, it's an easy mistake to make. I'm sure it'll only take you a few seconds to see what I mean, you've done the same thing once again in the one I'm in right now, your gorgeous-ness."

"Don't call me that!" Elsa snapped but obeyed him and looked over her creation. Then she realized the dumb mistake she had made and quickly mended it.

"I know, it's a bit of an Achilles heel, isn't it? All I had to do was climb the spirals like a ladder and jump out from the top!" Edward, the assassin, said it like it was his greatest achievement. And for all purposes it was, but you usual don't want to start running your mouth off about it.

"Thank you for kindly letting me know; although, I do hope you won't put it past me to take advantage of this." His character was infectious and she found herself once again laughing.

"My Queen, it would bring me no greater pleasure than to help you. In the future, I hope this helps you in restraining any creeps you should come across in the future."

"Such as yourself, for example?"

"I am most certainly not one," he scoffed, "I'm a perfect gentleman through and through!"

"Sure," Elsa raised an eyebrow, "now, I remember you wanting to talk to me about something before you got, for lack of better terms, distracted?"

"I wouldn't be a gentleman without making a few pleasantries along the way. Tell me, where would I be without them?"

"Roasting in Hell along with your chivalrousness and your manners- now-back to the manner at hand; why did you decide to talk to me instead of kill me?"

"I like a girl who knows what she wants."

"Was that an answer or are you attempting to flirt with me?"

"It depends, am I getting anywhere with it?"

"No."

"Then my earlier statement was an answer to your question. To put it simple, you fascinate me. And I've never been one to do things by the book. So, as to be expected, when faced with the options of killing a beautiful young lady and having to hide myself away in exile for the rest of my forever, or to- well… I guess I don't know what I am doing but I don't want to kill you."

"I think my heart just skipped a beat there."

The man tilted his head like a puppy to grin at her, "So I am getting somewhere, aren't I?"

"No, I assure you, you're not. Any heart I have inside me is frozen solid." She retracted a little bit. Elsa was hurt by her own words.

"Great, so you do have a heart. I was a little worried there."

"How is that a good thing?"

"All that means, my Queen, is that I have to thaw it with my smooth courting skills."

"Consider me wooed." She batted her eyes and turned away. Elsa, for all she's worth, strutted away receiving an approving whistle from Edward. "Manners?" she asked innocently before walking out of the room.

"Damn, I wasn't ready. Give me another shot!"

Elsa ducked out of the room. She knew that he was an assassin sent to murder her; but she couldn't for the life of her understand why he was flirting with her.

But what really made it worse was that she was flirting back.

* * *

Elsa had no idea what she would do with him. She racked her brain and left the castle for a walk but couldn't reach a decisive course of action. The easiest way to get rid of him would be to kill him; but she would never let that be an option. The Queen might be a monster but she will never be a murderer. So she was left entertaining all sorts of ideas but they were to no avail.

She was getting nowhere, plus she was starting to get a headache. With no better option at the moment, she decided to head back to the castle.

* * *

The first thing she noticed was the broken chunks of ice that were suppose to be trapping her prisoner. The next thing she noticed was said prisoner in the corner of the room. He had a backpack open between his legs and was devouring the contents. Elsa sighed and pressed two fingers to her temple.

"I got hungry," he said defensively and burped.

"How did you get out of there this time?"

"Sorry, you went out and I didn't think you would be coming back for a while. So I helped myself."

"Hod-did-you-get-out!?"

"Ah, well... I have some powder that goes boom when I light it. So I crawled up as far as I could go and let'er rip."

"Indeed."

"Anyway, are you really going to just keep wrapping me up in ice. That's getting really old."

"Do you have any better suggestions?"

"I think the playing field needs to be evened. How am I suppose to sweep you off your feet if I can't even get close to you. I'd like to suggest I get free-supervised reign of the castle."

"That's rather bold of you, what strategy are you trying to use on me now?"

He chuckled and ran a hand through his hair, "A chef never reveals his ingredients."

"That chef better start serving up something or he's going to find himself locked up to kingdom come with ice."

"You've heard my answer. I'm sorry but you know what I want."

Elsa gulped as she saw his eyes darken in a way that made her very nervous.

"Can you pass me a backback, I'm hungry." he shrugged and tossed one at her which slid along the ice to reach her.

"Okay, I won't lock you up for right now as long as you promise me you'll stay over there."

"What kind of gentleman would I be if-"

"One that'll find himself facing my snowy wrath if he disobeys."

"Good point, consider it taken." He reclined himself against the wall and closed his eyes,"My love, I'm finding myself rather comfortable over here. I'll hang out for a bit until your done."

"Do me another thing and just shut up for right now."

He smiled and didn't speak for the rest of the meal. But he did hum a tune that only they knew.

* * *

_Herrugud- means OMG in Norwegian. :P_


	3. Chapter 3

Elsa went to sleep that night thinking that she was well protected. She built her bed and raised it high up in the air on columns of ice so the man couldn't possibly get close to her.

Turns out she was wrong yet again.

"How can you look so sexy just by sleeping? Look there's even drool coming down the side of your face, yet you still manage to look so utterly irresistible!"

A hand lightly brushed her mouth and, once again, she found herself face to face with a certain mysterious, tall, dark, and handsome stranger.

It took her a moment to figure out where she was and how far off the ground they were. Even with all of her carefully crafted plans and precautions the man had still managed to get to her. Elsa sat up and peered over the safety rail to her bed at the set of eyes staring at her.

"Edward, what the hell?"

He grinned cockily and flashed something in the air. She didn't know what it was so she waited for him to explain; although her patience was wearing a bit thin…

"I like to be prepared for anything; given my occupation, I have some ice picks and climbing supplies, it just makes my job easier, you know?"

"I could imagine so. Now tell me dear, you got up here just fine; how are you expecting to get back down?"

"Oh! I was hoping you could help me with that."

Elsa sighed heavily and tugged him the rest of the way onto her bed. She would have lowered herself to the ground but was worried about him hanging precariously off the edge of her bed while she did so. He probably would fall off if she were to suddenly move herself in any given diretion.

"Wow, I thought it would take me much more than that to get into bed with you."

"Manners?"

"Sorry, I know I should have added 'your highness' but I thought we were far enough into this relationship to drop silly titles. Do forgive me, my Queen."

Elsa rolled her eyes before shutting them; she concentrated hard for a few moments before opening them back up. There was no noticeable difference.

"I think something went wrong. We're not any closer to the ground, your Majesty!"

"Yet." Elsa added.

Without any warning she kicked him hard from the bed and he disappeared off the other side of it. Elsa cackled and looked down at her work: she had conjured a slide that deposited him into a harmless pile of soft snow in the ground. The only flaw in her plan was his legs were kicking up in the air for from the waist up he was stuck in snow. With a snap of her fingers, the snow melted and he fell the rest of the way towards the ground.

"Much better," the ghost of a smile graced Elsa's mouth as she stretched out in her bed yawning.

Edward picked himself up off the ground and walked over to the corner of the room. He grabbed both their backpacks. Looking between the two, the man lifted one of them up towards her. "You coming down for breakfast, Love?"

"Maybe."

"I'm not waiting." To prove his point, he rummaged around in the sack to pull out an apple then took a bite out of it. He was distracted on trying to make the apple look like the most sinfully wicked food so much that he didn't notice that Elsa was down from her perch and creeping straight towards him.

"Mmm, you're missing out. This-is-soooo-delicious." he said in between bites, "I'm definitely not leaving anything behind for someone who doesn't want something as good and wholesome as this." Another chew out of the apple as he closed his eyes in dramatic bliss.

"Edward," called a rich melodious voice from right behind him.

"I didn't know you could be so quiet, I'm impressed."

"I'd wager there's a lot you don't know about me. Now, hand me my bag."

"My Majesty, I would've done so immediately if only you had said 'please.' I'm afraid that now you're going to have to work for your meal. "

"Not funny, those are my bags and you're in my damn castle. Who do you think owes whom a dept?"

"It's not hard. Just simply answer me one question, Any question that I ask."

"No."

He sighed and lifted the bag high above him, "You're no fun. All I want is one question; you don't even have to answer the first one I ask. We can just keep on going until we stumble across one you feel you can answer."

"Edward, I don't kn-"

"One question, please! For me?"

"Fine," Elsa threw her hands up in exasperation before crossing them over her chest. She glared at him and began to tap her foot when he took to long.

"What color is your un-"

"Next!"

"What type of shampoo do you use?"

"Are you kidding me?"

"Okay, touché… How about… Aha! Am I your first?"

"First what?" She asked honestly confused.

"Never mind, forget that I asked that. Your Majesty, care to play with me?"

"Not really." She glanced up at him curiously and smiled at his expression, "What? You asked if I could answer a question of yours truthfully. That is what I just did. Now give me my breakfast."

He retreated back to his corner of the room and waited patiently for her to finish; meanwhile slipping on a pair of thick black leather gloves. The moment she had finished he reached out and tugged on her arm; it was good that he had put on the gloves for they were covered with a layer of frost after the whole ordeal.

He was too close to her now, "I thought I told you to stay over there."

"No, you requested I stay away from you yesterday. But you did not ask me to repeat the same behavior again today; anyway, all I want is to play a simple game with you."

"Fine, what is it?" Elsa asked, her voice colored with annoyance.

"I promise, you won't regret it-"

"we'll see-" she added quietly.

"Anyway, enough with that. We could go sledding."

"Too many trees and there's a giant cliff if you haven't noticed."

"We could hike down the mountain some ways for better ground."

"Too many people."

"Oh, sometimes I find myself forgetting that you're a bit of a hermit, aren't you?"

She blushed mortified and proceeded not to respond to that last remark.

"Sorry. Okay, sledding is a no-go. How about we have a snowball war."

"Don't I have an unfair advantage?"

"Only if you can see me, I'm too stealthy to get caught by you."

Elsa raised an eye and lifted her arms up from her sides; suddenly out of nowhere, hundreds of snowballs started raining down around them.

"Ow! Fine, I see your point. I'm running out of options now and you're not making this any easier for me." Edward scratched his chin and cocked his head to narrow his eyes at her, "Do you want to build a snowman?"

Her eyes lit up for the first time in childish delight. This was obviously the correct question for him to ask. She was beaming for a long time before her eyes started to cloud up; however, before Elsa could say no she found herself nodding in agreement.

"Great I'll meet you outside." He took off sprinting for the door and turned around to give her a boyish grin. "Don't keep me waiting."

Elsa shook her head and sighed. She turned around to set the backpack down, but after a blink she paused. Did she really just let her hostage leave without a second thought?

She found herself turning around and following the way he left. When Elsa got outside the assassin was nowhere to be seen. Then, out of nowhere, a white projectile collided hard with the back of her head.


	4. Chapter 4

It was generally assumed that royalty must never curse. Elsa, in fact, didn't even know where she learned the word from; however, that was inconsequential. The point was is that when she was hit, she did end up swearing. And a very shocked assassin almost tripped over his feet when he heard it.

It didn't make matters any better when he proceeded to call her out on it.

"Hey, if I have to act like a gentleman, why shouldn't you have act the part of a lady?" Of course, his reward was a bundle of snow hitting him in his face.

"Edward, I thought you wanted to build a snowman, not wage a snowball war?"

It took him a moment to respond as he was busy clearing the snow from his mouth, "I wanted to do both, but some bossy spoiled princess doesn't want to have fun."

Elsa scoffed and settled for rolling a snowball, "I'm not a princess, I'm a queen. And there are things that need me to take care of them. I can't be playing all the time. If I did that with Anna then things would never ever get done." She didn't realize her slip and the stealthy assassin smiled as he found a new hiding spot. He had made it in the nick of time to. Elsa had just finished making her snowball and was looking for a target to unleash it upon.

"Oh, Edward. Where'd you go now?" Elsa sounded disapproving as she shook her head back and forth.

"Not telling."

She spun around searching for the location of the voice but saw nothing.

'For a figure dressed all in black; he sure know how to hide. You'd think I'd be able to easily spot him in the snow!'

She was walking forward and began to feel a little unsettled. He was still an assassin sent to kill her and she was still the Queen to a kingdom. Her thoughts were turning sour but were interrupted when suddenly a heavier dusting of snow landed all around her. Looking up she spotted him in a tree; he was shaking the branches causing what had settled down upon them to land on the royal below.

"Let the storm rage on."

"Because the cold never bothered you anyway?"

"Exactly."

Elsa cupped her magic together in her hands; letting them swirl as they collected together into an energetic sphere in her hands. Throwing her arms out the frosty bundle shot up into the air and exploded in a shower of snow above the tree Edward was in.

He tried to take cover underneath a branch of pine needles in the tree he was in but it only covered so much. His back had been spared but his feet and legs were not. After it had all settled down to the ground he began to shake the tree more vigorously in an effort to cover Elsa in more snow.

With a wave of her hands, she was hiding in a translucent ice cave.

"Not fair."

"This is a war. Your lucky its just me here; we're not back at Arendelle's castle where the soldiers and castle guards are. since you've directly attacked the Queen of this land, your assault against the leader of this nation has declared you an enemy of the country."

"Is it to late to call truce?"

"This will not end till there's a clear winner."

"In that case," He dropped out of the tree and ran away into a thicker patch of trees, "I demand the right to sovereignty as well as the right to run this area as my own Kingdom."

"You do know that the area you are requesting will not do you any good."

"Queen Elsa, are you refusing the right to my sovereignty? Fine, then I'll official emancipate myself and this land from your Kingdom."

"And how are you going to trade or survive? Without me here, the snow will melt. This will leave you with no water, no food, and you'll be left vulnerable to attack from marauders and other countries."

"I'm sorry. This is a free nation over here; I'll have to ask you to leave and set up an official appointment if you want to talk to the King."

"I suppose you could export lumber; that's assuming you can get past my armies." Elsa blinked and smiled when she finally caught what he said, "Oh, so now you're a King?"

Edward had climbed a tree and waved to Elsa from the top of it, "Why of course! I'd have to be in order to court the Queen of Arendelle."

"It's only a suggestion but courting usually works a lot better when you're not waging war with the Kingdom your desired mate rules."

"I suppose it does help, doesn't it. Let's say we call a truce?"

"Not yet."

Elsa formed a slippery dome surrounding the tree he was in using the finest ice she could conjure. She brought it far above the tree until she was certain that he couldn't escape. Part of being the Queen to a Kingdom was patience and she thought he could do with learning that. Elsa turned heel and walked back to her Palace to get herself an early lunch. This left the newly ordained King stranded.

She wasn't a complete monster. Elsa would bring back some food after she was done eating.

* * *

He landed on the ground, the impact stinging his feet, and walked forward. Edward found himself completely enclosed in a well-made bowl of ice. It was slippery and milky white all the way through; he couldn't see anything outside. Not even a full minute had passed and yet he was bored out of his mind of this place.

To make matters worse he didn't have any of his supplies to help him escape from here; instead, he would have to wait for Elsa's return. And that could take a very long time depending on how she was feeling. He could only wish she'd be lenient.

He cut some of the pine branches off the tree with a cleverly hidden dagger and made himself a mattress to wait on. Surprisingly, it didn't take long for her to return.

"Are you willing to meet my demands for surrender?" A feminine voice trickled from the other side of the wall. He chuckled and bobbed his head.

"Yes, a few minutes stuck in this place has cleared my head. My lady, please excuse my rashness I've shown with declaring war against Arendelle and, instead, put it all behind us in the past. Our countries would do well to ally with each other in peaceful unity. My country, rich in lumber, could supply you with a large quantity of wood. We are also rich in squirrels and acorns."

The woman laughed, "I do believe Arendelle doesn't get enough acorns. Why haven't I thought about allying my country with this country of yours earlier. Oh, that's right! This land has always belonged to me; it was you who took it."

"And now I propose an alliance." He stood up just as the barrier began to melt away. The Queen looked slightly amused as she tossed the pack of food at his feet. Edward picked it up and began to sort through its contents.

"Here," he said tossing a piece of chocolate at her, "a toast to our new found allegiance."

"You sound like an old councilman."

"With the job of an assassin, I've run into my fare share."

"And how many have escaped with their lives."

"Oh, all of them. They paid me far better than the people who wanted them dead ever did." He raised a piece of reindeer jerky to his mouth and took a bite out of it, but not before wagging an eyebrow at Elsa.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N:

Hey there! Thanks so much for all the recent reviews I've received. Particularly for Panda-Angel-Wings, Concolor44, and Krazy for keeping up with my story for almost a month now! Now, I know this story has brought up more questions than answers, but I wish to rectify that in its own coarse. Other than that, I hope you enjoy reading this chapter.

Excuse any errors I make, I don't have a proofreader for my work.

Signing out-

* * *

Elsa managed to sleep in peace throughout the night and Edward couldn't feel any prouder. She was protecting her virtue like a true lady, if the sharp spikes surrounding the underside of her bed gave any indication. He allowed her to win this round but he still decided to climb up the side of the ice-castle. Once up, he reclined against the side of a pier. The man slept some but kept a wary eye out for trouble; of course the view from here wasn't that bad either…

* * *

She woke up to find him staring at her and groaned loudly.

"Morning love, how'd you sleep?"

"I've had better nights."

"You seem a little grumpy. Time for breakfast, eh?"

"Edward, what are you even doing up there? You're going to kill yourself and I'd feel a little bad if it happened."

"The size of your concern for me is very touching."

Elsa blushed and formed a curtain dome around herself. She didn't want to ever leave there but knew that she'd have to eventually. Her crazy assassin would need help getting back down because she didn't want, on her watch, Edward breaking his neck.

So she conjured up a gentle slope of snow for him to get back down safely.

The only problem is that she hadn't taken into consideration the speed at which he'd be going when he reached the bottom.

Edward blindly trusted Elsa's creation to be safe and easy to use. No need to read the fine print. Without further ado, he scooted forward and started to slide down the hill; when he reached the bottom, he didn't stop. From there, it all happened so fast. It all went wrong in the blink of an eye.

"Elsa!" Came an alarmed sounding assassin shooting forward faster than a speeding bullet. This appropriated another curse from Elsa as she tried to rectify her mistake.

To late; depending on if you're a man or woman, the damage was either severe or very painful. Edward only came to a stop once he reached the staircase in the most unfortunate position he could have stopped in for his gender.

It was enough to reduce him to whimpers.

"Are you okay, are you hurt?" Elsa's voice was colored with worry and regret. If only she had thought things through.

"Yes," he squeaked out. His voice hitched up a few octaves.

Her eyes wrinkled in confusion and she cocked her head to the side. Not really believing what she just heard from him. The response he'd given wasn't common for any of the injuries she'd know how to treat.

"I'm so sorry; I should have seen that it wouldn't work. Do you need help? Oh god, Edward, I'm so sorry." She flitted about him like a little sparrow; completely confused on what the problem was or what was expected of her to do in this case. Elsa was really hoping about now for him to throw her a bone.

Funny how life comes at you fast. They were upstairs when a voice boomed from the entrance to the ice-palace.

"Hello, is anyone there?"

She was torn in staying behind and helping Edward or allowing whoever was downstairs to come up. When Edward started to pick himself back up toff the ground, she felt a little better knowing he hadn't suffered a major concussion. Probably no internal injurious too. She conjured up a chair for him and told him to wait there. He gave a barely perceptible nod as he continued with the struggle to get off the ground.

Elsa started a quick jog for the entrance. She combed her fingers through her hair and flipped it back over her shoulder; she looked presentable now. Her last few steps before she made her entrance didn't go unnoticed by the man at the entrance, who turned to stare slack-jawed at her. After recomposing himself in a few seconds he remembered to close his mouth. But speech was still beyond his capacity at the moment.

He was obviously not a soldier sent to kill her, in fact, it looked like the man hadn't the faintest idea of what he was doing up here. Elsa let herself relax a little and her voice came out cajoling, "Are you looking for something?"

Kristoff had never seen this palace when he passed by this place; and he passed by often. To say he was intrigued on how a palace had managed to sprung up in the lapse of a couple of weeks was an understatement. He was befuddled and searching for answers. It only seemed the questions were quickly increasing the longer he stayed here; and he hadn't even a single answer for any of them yet.

"Oh, umm. Hi! I was just passing through this place and I so happened to see the castle," he groaned silently and told himself to get to the point already, "I was curious as to who built it. Did-did you do this?" The new guy sounded a little incredulous. Surely just one lone woman couldn't build this enormous place in just a couple of weeks. He'd doubt that even a hundred men could procure such a marvel so quickly.

Now, it probably wasn't good to admit anything right now. Elsa was struggling fast to come up with a lie to tell him; she didn't want to make him suspicious.

"Of course not, silly!" Her voice came out teasing and sounding entirely unlike herself. Heck, if she didn't have ice-powers she'd be sweating bullets about now. "My husband and I did it; so I take it you like it?"

All Kristoff could think was, '_Of course she's married!'_

He nodded and gulped a huge mouthful of air down, "Yes, it's incredible. I find it hard to believe you two did it all by yourselves." There it was; Kristoff's underlying message conveying his suspicion and disbelief.

She was forced to continue the initial charade she'd started with, " Aw, we had a little help. He'd be thrilled knowing we had a visitor. Here I'll take you to see him right now; he hardly ever gets guys to hang out with him, being as we're so far away from society."

It seemed all so wrong and creepy to him. Were they psycho killers; the castle the main attraction to draw in victims? Almost everything was possible with the shear weirdness of the situation. Best to not let his guard down.

Which was hard when he tried to find other ways to preoccupy his mind as he followed a very scandalous clad woman up the stairs. Her clothes were totally inappropriate for the season, not like there was that much time to prepare for the recent weather, it was still in the middle of summer; however, everything had gone to hell very fast.

Kristoff froze in place when they had rounded the corner. A man bigger than him, dressed all in black wearing a trench coat, was drooping forward in a chair placed in the most random spot- right by a set of stairs that led even further up the castle. It was all so very wrong and the man was groaning in pain.

"Elsa, damn that hurt!" Edward sighed. He hadn't noticed the newest addition to the room.

"Edward, dearest, we have company." That got his attention. The assassin got goose bumps all over his skin when she called him that. He might have enjoyed the random display of affection had it been any other situation. When he looked up, he saw a burly mountain man with the most delightfully confused expression on his face.

This could be fun. The man was already looking from Edward to Elsa like their was something going on between them that he wasn't entirely clued-in on. Why not help him to come to one? And if Elsa was suddenly going to suddenly act all lovey-dovey with him…

"Why hello there, how are you?"

"Good." Came a gruff reply.

"Elsa, love, could you go and grab something so our guest can eat. I'm sure he must be tired from wandering about in this type of weather."

"Why yes, hubby!" A clue. She had lied to the man and told him that their was something to their nonexistent relationship. He had just been upgraded from lover to the husband of the Queen. Not bad when you consider he went from being a commoner yesterday to a King.

Edwards eyes shot up past his hairline. Oh, he was going to have fun with this!


	6. Chapter 6

"Edward," said a nice soft and feminine voice, "what did you do to the nice ice-harvester?"

Elsa had gone to get food and a canteen for the man to drink from; it was a relatively quick trip. The guest was extremely nervous and he purposefully avoided looking into the assassin's face. The Ice-harvester seemed relieved when she returned, this was short lived, however...

Edward blinked innocently from his chair.

"Oh nothing really, he seemed tired; didn't he seem tired?" He rubbed his hands together and stood up. He managed to suppress a groan for he still hadn't fully recovered from his previous injuries as of yet. "Why do you ask?"

"He's unconscious on the floor. Don't take this the wrong way, but I think there's a little more to it than that."

"Well... I might of- slipped something in his drink." By now he knew he was in trouble and was beginning to think that his harmless joke wasn't such a good idea. Trying to save his neck he decided not to tell her what transpired between him and the man while she was gone. After thinking all this he found that she had yet to say anything, probably awaiting further clarification, and winced internally before further deluging.

"Fine, he's going to be having one hell of an interesting dream, I promise you. Do you happen to be familiar with Hallucinogens?"

"And why, husband-of-mine," she accentuated her words with a flick of her hand, her powers striking the ground making several ice shards, "did you think it would be okay to drug him under my roof?" Her voice was pleasant now, almost lulling, but he had been around enough women to know that he was walking on very thin ice- no pun intended.

"Don't worry, it was all in good fun; he'll wake in a couple of hours."

Her eyes flashed dangerously by his choice of words,"No one's laughing."

He flexed his sour muscles getting ready to bolt. Flashing a smile he quickly sprinted to go down the stairs.

A costly mistake on his part. This time, Elsa was prepared

She stomped her foot onto the ground and suddenly he wasn't running down stairs anymore. They had flattened out into a long ramp, his body propelled forward right into a giant snowbank at the bottom. It dissipated quickly and around him a beautiful cage had just finished being formed. Edward might have taken the time to admire it more if he wasn't trapped. He glanced up to see the Queen of Ice and Snow glaring disdainfully at him.

"Now I have to do damage control. Thanks very much, Edward."

"It's going to take a couple of hours still for him to wake up. You're not really planning on leaving me here for that long, are you?"

"Watch me," was all she said before she spun around.

"Honey, please, what am I going to do here while we wait?"

Without even looking at him she rose a hand up behind her and a cold wall rose up between her and the troubled assassin. If he did manage to escape the cage, he'd half to contend with the obstruction. It would take longer for him to break through than to wait for Elsa to come and retrieve him.

_"Nobody knows the trouble I've seen. Nobody knows my sorrows." _

He pulled out a cast-iron cup and rattled them off the bars of his cell.

* * *

Kristoff was curled up on his side dreaming about flying reindeer' and snowmen drinking hot-chocolate. It was one of the most lucid and disturbing dreams he ever had in his life. Finally awake and could move around, he wrapped his arms around his companion in a tight bear hug.

"Hey beautiful," he joked with his best bud. Certainly would have earned him a lick on his face from Sven, if he was there.

"Hey yourself," came a voice laced with amusement and dripping with humor.

"Ah!"

Kristoff fumbled away from the figure beside him but, with his arms still wrapped around her waist, brought both of them tumbling to the floor.

"I'm sorry," he said looking around to try and figure out where he was.

_'Actually, that's a good question. Where am I? I don't remember coming here.'_

Elsa picked herself up off the ground and dusted herself off. She certainly wasn't expecting to get dragged to the ground and was feeling a little awkward with this stranger. He didn't know how lucky he was that she didn't accidentally freeze him or something.

She should be more careful.

"Hi,"

"Umm... Hi?" His voice tapered off at the end. A few memories were just beginning to return to him. A large guy and his pretty wife. Waiting for tea and getting shown the man's extensive collection of knives, swords, daggers- you name it, he had it.

"I'm terribly sorry; it looks like there was a mix-up with the drink I served you."

"Oh,"

"Yeah, you took my husbands tea; he has trouble sleeping at night; my husband takes medication in his tea to help him sleep, so... I apologize for this terrible mistake. I hope it hasn't inconvenienced you too terribly. "

"No, not at all."

"You've got it bad haven't you?"

Elsa blinked and gazed at him with eyes full of concern.

Kristoff kicked himself; he probably looked like a freak. He just naturally slipped his voice into a lower octave speaking out Sven's thoughts almost automatically. Only Sven wasn't here and a very pretty woman was. No doubt, thinking he was off in the head. He couldn't explain what he just said because then he'd have to tell her what he meant, and no way would he tell Elsa he had the hots for her.

No chance.

No way...

I won't say it!

He wiped the drool away from his mouth and blushed.

"I left my reindeer outside," he blurted out the first thing that came to mind and almost immediately slapped his forehead with his hand.

_'So much for acting normal. You were doing good until you opened your mouth.'_

She only smiled sweetly, "I love reindeer!"

'She's married. Come on, Kristoff! You come from a family full of trolls, for goodness sake. But gosh, she's pretty...'

….

He cursed his traitorous mind, all the while following her to the front entrance.

* * *

The sound of a lonely can rattling of Edward's cell bars echoed throughout the empty castle.


	7. Chapter 7

After meeting up with his reindeer left outside, Kristoff soon took off. He didn't want to stick around and bump into trench-coat man ever again. There was a bad feeling he got around Edward; instincts or self-preservation skills, he thought it apt to leave as soon as possible.

Although he'd miss Elsa.

'Maybe I'll come back when he's not around.'

Elsa bade him farewell and watched him ride off before returning back to her castle.

* * *

She was pleasantly surprised to find that Edward hadn't moved from his cage at all. He was scraping ice across the ground in childish scribbles with a small knife. After hearing her approach, he jerked his head up and hid the dagger away in his coat.

"Now, have you thought about what you did wrong?"

"Yep, I promise you, I'm a changed man through and through. Next time, I won't take the stairs."

* * *

"I miss my sister."

Elsa said this while lying on her back; she was flicking her fingers in the air errantly causing mini swirls of snow to spring into the air before floating back down. Her clothes gained a dusting of powder over the top.

"Sorry to hear that."

"I wonder how she's doing right now at the moment; I kind of took off and left her alone to run the kingdom. The council should be taking care of most of it, but I'm sure she's troubled over all of this."

Edward sat right next to her and gazed at her face, "Why don't you ask her?"

"To dangerous. I don't have full control over my powers. I might hurt her."

"Oh I get it, you're worried about hurting your sister but me you half no qualms over." He huffed in playful indignantly which awarded him an eye roll from the woman below him.

"Not only that but I am probably unwelcome at the castle. I did leave right after I swore to give my life away for the kingdom."

"You're Queen, you can do whatever you want."

She sighed and shook her head, "It's not that simple."

"Sure it is," Edward retorted, "you're the one making it complicated. It seems to me that you are just full of excuses, when all it really comes down to is, 'she's your sister. You should go and see if she's alright.'"

"You make it sound so easy."

"Because it is. I'm going out to the forest; now, I'll be back late."

It wasn't such a strange request. They were running low on food and Edward was the better hunter of the two. Elsa just couldn't bring herself to take the life of an animal away; so she left it to the professional to deal with.

"Okay, I'll see you later."

She obviously had no idea what Edward was planning.

* * *

It was a long boring morning, a long boring day, and a long boring evening. The assassin was taking a long time in coming back so she, after much effort, managed to get a fire started. She went to bed eager for sleep; however, it didn't take long for her to awake gagging and sputtering for air.

This was her first learning experience. Smoke needed some place to go, and if there wasn't any vent system put in place, it would just stay and collect over time. Elsa nearly razed her castle to the ground trying to open a hole for the smoke to clear out, but after a while, the deed was done. She could finally breathe again.

The next time she woke up it was to the noise of muffled yelling.

"Do you realize what the Hell you just did, Edward?"

"What? You missed her."

"You cannot kidnap the Princess in the middle of the night while she's sleeping."

The bagged and gagged Red-haired girl quieted down after a couple of moments; she recognized one of the voices that was speaking.

"Just admit it, you miss her. You should take some time catching up before I return her."

She threw up her hands in exasperation, at a lost for words.

"Mmph!" Came the Princess from the ground.

"She's probably tired. Do you want me to let her out? Or... She can just stay there, as long as she's returned tomorrow, no harm no foul."

"That. Is. My. Sister."

"That's a relief, I'm glad I bagged the right one. I probably startled that maid when I tackled her to the ground but I soon realized that she wasn't Anna."

"You have my sister roped, tied, and gagged in a burlap-sack?

"Well, when you put it that way-"

"What the Hell were you thinking? That I would be okay with this?"

"I knew you'd be a little testy... But seriously, don't you think your slightly overreacting?"

She was threw with him at the moment. Elsa pointed at the door and was glaring daggers at him.

"She is not suppose to know where I am, it's too dangerous for her here."

"Don't worry, your sister doesn't the way. I mean, how much could she know? I took her up here blind-folded."

That was when she woke up.

Elsa was furious and wanted to release her frustrations out on something, or someone...

* * *

"Are you alright?"

"Never better," Elsa snapped quickly, "perfectly fine. You know, today has been a great day. An amazing day even."

_'Ah, sarcasm. My long lost friend.'_

He winced as another ice-statue was blasted to smithereens, "Great, wonderful. So- ummmmm- when your not going psychotic-queen-spell caster-meltdown anymore, I'll just be hiding behind the castle."

"I am not having a meltdown."

"I agree, but all the same I'm just going to get out of your way. Actually, I think I'll run down to Oaken's trading post for something. Yeah, I'm going to get some-"

"**Chocolate**," She spoke even and clear, even though her teeth were clenched. Her hands stretched forward to form another faceless ice-statue and reduce it to rubble.

"Yep, I'm going to go get chocolate and flowers. You like flowers, right?" He spoke quickly and turned around to leave angry Elsa to herself.

"Are you sure? It's seven miles, I don't want to force you to do that." She said this as tears began to form at the edge of her eyes; her nose scrunched up in an adorable fashion.

_'Seven miles isn't nearly far enough from this dangerous woman. I'm pretty sure it'll only take me to hike three of the seven before she'll decide to kill me.'_

"No, I'm alright. Have fun."

Elsa suddenly went from crying to glaring at him, "What do you mean by that?" She asked darkly.

'Maybe it'll only be a half mile before she decides to impale me with a shard of ice- if I'm lucky.'

"Well gorgeous, by that, I meant that you should have fun and I hope your not too bored while I'm away for a bit."

Elsa switched from wanting to kill him to being all sweet-&amp;-nice. In fact, she was smiling broadly at him, "In that case, thanks! I hope you have a safe trip."

"Bye," he said before Elsa decided to change her mind about letting him go. Like a scared dog he tucked his tail and cowered his way down the mountain. This was the scariest thing he had ever seen before in his life. He was wondering if he should hunt some caribou before he chances the lion's den again.

Maybe by then she would've blow off enough steam.

_"I wonder if it's that time of the month?"_

He thought aloud.

* * *

"So do you got anything strong enough to knock out a bear, let's say, for a week."

"Why would you need that, ja?"

"Nothing, just, you know, wondering is all." Maybe hoping was more like it, "Do you have any chocolates or flowers then?"

"No I don't, but what would you need those for?"

"To distract a wild bear."

The big man shook his head and smiled, "And you happen to be married to this bear, ja?"

Edward let out a loud bark, "Not willingly. It's strange, I don't even remember marrying her."

"They do that. Change on you; you don't get to see the dragon until you're hitched and can no longer escape."

"I'm actually glad that you don't have any chocolate. It gives me an excuse to jump ship to the next town."

"Are you sure, my family and I are always happy to take refugee's,"Yo-ho!"

From a steaming window several heads popped into view at once,"Yo-ho!"

Edward shook is head and smiled, "Actually, I think I'm good. Thanks for the offer; maybe sometime soon I'll take you up on it."

He made his way out and started towards Arendelle.


	8. Chapter 8

Anna sighed as she entered her sisters room. Funny how it had always been shut tight when Elsa lived at the castle, and now that her sister had gone, it was always open. The Princess closed the door and slid down it until she was resting against the floor.

'Where are you Elsa? Please be safe.'

Just as she had faithfully came to the door every day sense she was first shut out, so she did so to. The open door was a painful reminder to her now though. Her reason for coming had long ago left; it disappeared away into the night little more than a month ago.

She wanted to stay longer but she had an event to attend to in town. This was Arendelle's annual Harvest festival, and it was the first time, sense the gates were closed, that a Royal was attending. It was also the first time that there wasn't anything in particular to harvest; the winter over the kingdom of Arendelle froze all the local crops. It was always cold when you were this far north, but the unnatural winter made the weather much worse than usual. Lucky Arendelle wasn't known for their crops.

But, enough of that, she was going to the festival.

And she was going there with Hans...

* * *

"I was thinking we could release those paper lanterns every year until my sister comes home."

"She's missing not departed; The Queen can't stay hidden forever. The Guards are sure to eventually find her."

"I know; but Rapunzel was missing just like her, granted, everyone thought she was dead, but still. Those lights worked for her, they'll work for my sister too."

He merely gave Anna a weird look.

"Yeah, I know, it's a little far fetched-"

"A little?"

"But, I just can't stay here and do nothing; she's my sister!"

"You don't know where she even went. Trust me, it will go a lot faster if we leave it up to the guards," Hans rubbed her back soothingly, "it'll take even longer if we have to send out a search party for you."

"I won't get lost."

Hans laughed, "Anna, trust me. You are the most directionally challenged woman I know."

Anna pouted and looked away from him.

"Don't be like that. We'll worry about this more tomorrow. For now, let's just enjoy the festival, shall we?"

"Fine," she gave in and started shaking with excitement. It was their first official date as boyfriend and girlfriend. Anna didn't want to mess this day up.

However, this day had other plans for her.

* * *

Edward slipped his way into town. It was cold and snowy but the large amount of traffic through the streets was quickly turning that snow into mush. That was the first thing he noticed, the second was that, although there was lots of chocolate, there weren't any flowers.

He was screwed.

It didn't matter where he looked, all the flowers had died with the cold snap. Plus, no flower could survive the long boat trip it would take to get such a delicate thing down here. One of the many pleasures that living in a kingdom with a Queen who was a little on the cold side brings.

_'What am I to buy instead?'_ He wondered.

After pondering for a bit, he decided on jewelry. While walking by the stalls, one such piece caught his eye.

_'Might be a little cliche but it'll do the job.'_

He reached his hands forward to grab a studded snowflake necklace but was a second too late. A red-haired girl had gotten to it first.

"Excuse me, miss, but I was hoping to get that for my wife." He snorted when she turned around eyeing him wearily. Was the outfit too much?

"I'm sorry, I was hoping to get it for my sister. She has a thing for the cold."

"Please, it would mean the world to me."

She wasn't eager to relent it and instead clutched it harder to her chest.

"No, I can't. I was really hoping to give it to my sister as a present. I don't know if she'll be home in time but I know she'll love it."

"If you must."

Unfortunately for the girl, Edward wasn't feeling so generous today. Not when his hide was being threatened by a deranged psychopath back at home. So when she wasn't looking, he swiped the necklace from her and put a small dolphin trinket in its place so she wouldn't notice it missing for a while.

Mission complete: he quickly went up to the cash-register to pay for the necklace and a box of chocolates. He just needed to make it out of here before the girl noticed.

"Hey!"

By then, he had safely rounded the corner.

And ran face-first into a smelly reindeer who promptly licked his face.

"Ugh," he said wiping drool off his cheek.

He sensed more than saw a person standing chalk still in front of him. When the assassin looked up, they're was the man he had just seen yesterday staring at him. The boy went pale all over as if he'd seen a ghost.

"Funny, didn't think I'd meet you here."

The Ice Harvester's eyes widened and he stepped backwards in shock. He opened and shut his mouth like he was about to say something when their was a sudden interruption.

"That's the man that stole my necklace!"

_'And, that's my cue to leave.'_

"Good day to you sir," Edward needed to get out of here before he got himself into trouble. The fates were against him when suddenly he found himself surrounded by soldiers.

Anna glared at Edward with fury in her eyes, which darkened furiously at Kristoff's next words.

"Hey, isn't that missing woman your wife." The Ice Harvester spoke this while pointing at a nearby wall.

All eyes followed his to land on a wanted poster of the Queen.

"Son of a Bitch!" Snapped a not-so-happy assassin.

This was turning out to be one hell of a day.

* * *

"Do you think it's truly her?"

Anna was overjoyed that there was now a lead as to her sister's current whereabouts. Had she been kidnapped while running through the woods? Her mind was running through all the current possibilities and she hoped that it was true. It the man knew, than she could be reunited with her sister in less than a weeks time.

If only that man would talk. He'd been silent ever sense arriving at the castle. Refusing to speak a word and cooperate; he was currently being detained until he spoke.

"Anna, I don't know. It could be but then again it probably isn't. She's been gone for more than a month now."

Anna sighed and nodded. She understood. It would best not to get her hopes up or she could end up hurt.

Hans, in the mean time, was troubled. If this man did know where Elsa was, then he was in trouble. He couldn't afford her returning and threatening his rights to the crown and throne. As long as he and Anna were engaged then sooner or later he'd win her heart and they'd end up marrying. He just needed Elsa to stay away, preferably dying would be good.

But Elsa was enough.

She held so much sway over Anna; they'd already have been married by now if Elsa hadn't been reluctant of their sudden engagement. Anna kept their relationship slow because of her sister, but if their was a chance that the man knew that the Queen was on the mountain and told her Anna...

That man was a threat.

Hans pulled away from Anna and went to the dungeon. He dismissed the guards, preferring to talk to the prisoners alone.

"Do you know where Queen Elsa is?" Hans asked.

"Excuse me, sir, but I'm a King. Which you have locked up like a common dog."

Well, that wasn't the answer Hans was expecting. It was so much harder to get rid of a King than a commoner.

"Which country do you rule?"

"Elsward," Edward retorted. He didn't stop to think on how he just put Elsa's and his name together to make some made-up country.

"I've never heard of that before."

"Really, I'm not surprised. It's a relatively new country, our main export is lumber."

His mind couldn't help but add, _'and acorns, and squirrels.'_

Shut-up mind!

"Do forgive the treatment; however, until this is verified, we are forced to detain you for stealing from the Princess."

"That was the Princess?"

My, oh, my! How interesting this day was turning out.

He couldn't wait for this man to go so he could escape and make his way back up the mountain- chocolate or no chocolate. After all, the necklace had been safely returned to the Princess. Maybe, he could pick that up on the way home?


End file.
